Sep 30, 2009

Brütal Legend

Bring Your Contraughler To The Slaughter. Worth: $9
based on 360 demo


The Hell's Bells on my Crazy Train just called Doctor Love.
I only fired up this demo because the GamerGal made me. Within ten seconds we were both laughing our asses off, and not because the game was bad, but because the writing is fantastically funny. It helps that we both know a lot of musicians and went to High School back when Heavy Metal was in its heyday.

The voice actors spin the great writing into top-notch performances. The dialogue is delivered with just the right mix of down-to-earth, yeah-this-is-happening realism and over-the-top head-banger awesomeness. Jack Black is terrific, naturally, and perfectly cast as Eddie the ultimate roadie.

The game itself is pretty simple, essentially playing out as a button-masher where you pound A and X to fight and press Y to grab stuff. The graphics are at least four years out of date, but at this point graphics weren’t too bad four years ago. The music, as one would hope, is very promising -- as long as you’re into Metal. The story feels very linear and replay will be extremely limited.

This game doesn’t get a high score, but it’s a lot higher than the Zero I expected to give it.

Sep 20, 2009

Darkest Of Days

Shoot your way through history. Worth: $20
based on 360 demo


What a concept, an FPS with a concept!
Whenever I try out a new shooter my mind basically says the following: "Hey, a shooter. Wow, I can shoot. Yeah that's terrific. What else ya got?" It turns out that Darkest Of Days may have that rare quality in this genre: originality.

Bloody Harvest
The demo features the Battle of Antietam, the bloodiest single day in American military history (23k casualties). After a few minutes you can see why it has this notorious distinction, as thousands of soldiers fight for a cornfield the size of a schoolyard. Huge volleys of gunfire fill the air with metal and clog the farm's drainage ditches with heaps of shattered dead and howling wounded. The scenes depicted felt spot-on to the descriptions I've read about this battle.

Why can't I get a cellphone signal in 1863?
The game has some similarities to the short-lived but excellent TV show Journeyman, where you travel through time so you can affect the lives of historically-significant people. Where Journeyman focused on everyday life, however, Darkest Of Days centers around history's great battles.

Point and shoot, and reload. Still reloading. Ughh, still reloading...
In the demo you began with a time-accurate 1860's single-shot rifle. Slow... inaccurate... you can see why they don't make a lot of Civil War era video games. But then your time-traveling handler gives you an assault rifle. Needless to say you suddenly become the highest casualty-producing soldier on the battlefield as you wipe out entire enemy companies with a single clip. This historical twist is an engaging "What If" scenario, which appeals to me because I like Alternate History as much as I like regular history.

Unique, fresh, and interesting
This game plays well, and although the graphics won't win any awards, it looks good enough. The demo presented me with what felt like a tightly-researched experience, and promises much more from other times and battles. Good stuff.

Aug 31, 2009

H3 ODST Firefight

This is the way Bungie saves Multiplayer. Anticipated Worth: $200
based on 360 video and online previews


My next year of gaming
Clearly Bungie has heard the feedback from enough gamers like me to realize that H3 Multiplayer has been hijacked by cheating betrayal punks and is totally un-fun for anyone with even a modicum of honor and good sportsmanship. Firefight is a new (to Halo) gaming mode that combines the best of Campaign Co-Op with the best of Multiplayer, without all the Ridalin-fueled 15-year old racist homophobic teabagging assholes.

See this well-written preview for more.

Aug 29, 2009

Wet

Guns 'n Swords 'n Rock 'n Roll. Worth: $15
based on 360 demo


Kill, lanky Tarantino babe, Kill!
If you had Quentin Tarantino run Tomb Raider, BloodRayne, and Stranglehold through a blender you'd wind up with Wet. QT's influence does the same thing for mindless killing games that Tim Gunn's influence does for fashion: makes it fun, accessible, and stylish.

The camera does a fantastic job of following the main character, Rubi, as she soars, slides, and sails around the screen dealing out a non-stop barrage of dual-wielded death. If anyone in the crowd of goons survives long enough for her to get close, she can instantly switch to her sword for turbo-charged butchery.

And then Rubi gets _really_ pissed off.

When this happens the game switches to a very hip, Frank Miller-esque red-white-and-black graphic style, with all the same gut-blasting moves as before, just super-posterized. It's a bold and refreshing art direction decision that works really well.

The third game mode could be called "Highway To Hell." Rubi rides on top of cars, shoots bad guys, and leaps from car to car just in time to avoid a bridge, a pile-up, or an all-purpose explosion. So with all this amazing alliteration, why isn't this game Worth more? Because it's all frosting and no cake.

Wet offers an experience so constantly off-the-hook that I'm absolutely sure I'll get sick of it after a couple of hours, just like I did with Stranglehold. A good game has good pace. The only pace Wet has is Full Kill Ahead.

Aug 14, 2009

Bully: Scholarship Edition

Longer than school in real life. Worth: $16
based on 360 retail


Relive your school days as a short scofflaw.
This game shares so much with it's big brother that it could have been called "Grand Theft High School." While Bully has got fun things to do, decent controls, camera, etc., the story is so long it feels like I could have gotten a real-life degree in the time it's taking me to plow my way through this scholastic epic. I've been playing it for a month and I'm still only 40% of the way through. More on this criminal-in-the-making when I finally finish.

May 25, 2009

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed

Damn You George Lucas. Worth: $10
based on 360 retail


La la, ARGH! La la, ARGH!.
The difficulty level on this game is so all over the place that it's a wonder I didn't pitch my controller out the window. Yes, it looks great, sounds great, and has a good story that connects Trilogy I with Trilogy II. But certain areas and rooms are so suddenly and egregiously challenging that I learned to just have the GamerGal read me a walkthrough any time I got killed more than twice in the same room.

Pet peeve: Boss fights that finish with a button puzzle. I can't see the coolness when I'm doing a goddamned button puzzle. I cannot _wait_ for button puzzles to go out of style. It's such a cheap shortcut. Just give me a good boss fight, don't clutter it up with these mindless button puzzles. With that said, at least the timing for these button puzzles was relatively forgiving. Mercenaries 2 and God of War 2 gave me practically no time to hit the buttons.

Most rooms were fun. I'd Force Grip someone and throw them around, or I'd zap fools with Lightning. Sometimes I'd stab them with my Light Saber. But... that's kind of it. It's a pony with a great trick, but it's only got the one trick. Replay is practically zero except I wanted to see how the two endings looked. And don't get me started about the signature Force Move Of Amazingness, pulling down the Star Destroyer.

The signature Force Move Of Amazingness, pulling down the Star Destroyer
This goddamn puzzle managed to ruin what could have been the coolest video game moment, ever. Ripping a Star Destroyer from the sky and dashing it into the ruins of a once-great city. But the way this is handled is so long and tedious that it just becomes something to get over with, like doing the dishes after Thanksgiving dinner. It's a huge missed opportunity, and it sums up the entire experience of playing this solidly-built but deeply flawed game.

May 23, 2009

MySQL vs. CS4 on OS X


In brief:
Two partitions:
Boot partition: case-insensitive. Adobe CS4 installs normally. MySQL installs from easy-to-use binary installer pkg.
CaSe partition: case-sensitive. Holds MySQL data files.

Create this file:
/etc/my.cnf
...and enter:
[mysqld]
socket = /tmp/mysql.sock
datadir = /Volumes/CaSe/MySQL_data

Copy the data files:
sudo cp -R /usr/local/mysql/bin/data/mysql /Volumes/CaSe/MySQL_data/mysql
sudo cp -R /usr/local/mysql/bin/data/myDB /Volumes/CaSe/MySQL_data/myDB

Then:
sudo chown -R mysql /Volumes/CaSe/MySQL_data/mysql
sudo chgrp -R wheel /Volumes/CaSe/MySQL_data/mysql

For PHP:
sudo cp /etc/php.ini.default /etc/php.ini
line 761 (or so) find "mysql.default_socket=" and add "/tmp/mysql.sock"

Restart.
The Problem:
Gypsy 6's MySQL databases require a cAsE-SensiTive boot drive, but Adobe CS4 requires an case-insensitive boot drive.

The Brainstorm
Maybe it's only the MySQL _data_ that has to be on a case-sensitive drive, while the MySQL server software can be on a case-insensitive boot drive.

The Pain
Five years of installing CS2, 3, 4 on a case-insensitive virtual disk, totally foiled by Flash 10 and Actionscript 3. Nineteen straight hours of formatting my old 40GB external hard drive with various formats and then installing OS X and MySQL, over and over again.

The Result
It freakin' works!



Prologue - The Death Sentence
I made a back-up of my client's database with the MySQL GUI tool called "MySQL Administrator". It was super easy. I could also have done this in a Terminal window, but I didn't so I don't have that command here. Just Google "back up MySQL database".



Act I - Installageddon
- I formatted my 40GB external drive with two partitions. One partition is about 35GB and is the default, case-insensitive format and is called "LaCie 40". The smaller 5GB Partition is HFS+ (case-sensitive) format and is called "CaSe" (<- no spaces in the name!!!).
- I installed OS X Leopard to the case-insensitive partition.
- I did all the software updates (which got me up to OS X 10.5.7).
- I ran the user-friendly installer for MySQL 5.x. on the same case-insensitive partition (you don't get a choice, the MySQL server software _must_ be on the boot drive).
- Restarted my Mac



Act II - Terminalator
- I made a new folder on the very top level of my case-sensitive partition "CaSe" called "MySQL_data" and used the Info window to make all the permissions for that folder "Read and Write" for every user I found.
- I created a new file: /etc/my.cnf by typing this in the Terminal:
myMac > sudo bbedit /etc/my.cnf (you can use the omnipresent vi if you don't have bbedit)
and put the following text in it:
[mysqld]
socket = /tmp/mysql.sock
datadir = /Volumes/CaSe/MySQL_data
- Then I did this:
myMac > sudo cp -R /usr/local/mysql/data/mysql /Volumes/CaSe/MySQL_data/mysql
The MySQL server software uses it's own database called "mysql". The above line copied it to my case-sensitive partition. I've moved the actual mysql datafiles!

- Restarted my Mac



Act III - Permission To Ill
Now I use Terminal to set up my database:
myMac > /usr/local/mysql/bin/mysql

If this gave me the fucking "/tmp/mysql.sock" error I did this:
myMac > sudo echo
myMac > sudo /usr/local/mysql/bin/mysqld_safe &

(See UPDATE 2 below for a more permanent fix for the mysql.sock problem.)

and then I left that Terminal window open. Maybe I didn't have to, but what the hell, Terminal windows are free.

Then I did this again:
myMac > /usr/local/mysql/bin/mysql

Which got me the happy "MySQL is working" message and the mysql prompt:
mysql >

Hurrah, MySQL is running. Now I log out of MySQL (type "exit") and then do this:
myMac > /usr/local/mysql/bin/mysqladmin -u root password myPassword

Now log in again as root like this:
myMac > su
sh-3.2 > /usr/local/mysql/bin/mysql -u root -p
and at the mysql prompt I did all this crap:
mysql > CREATE database MyDatabase;
mysql > GRANT all on MyDatabase.* to root@localhost identified by 'myPassword';
mysql > GRANT select, insert, update, delete, create, drop on MyDatabase.* to MainUser@localhost identified by 'UserPassword';
mysql > GRANT select, insert, update, delete, create, drop on MyDatabase.* to MainUser@"%" identified by 'UserPassword';
mysql > GRANT select on MyDatabase.* to WebSurfer@domain.com identified by 'WebPassword';

I opened another Terminal window and restored myDatabase like this:
sh-3.2# ./mysql -u root -p MyDatabase < /Volumes/myMac/web_sites/client_1/client_1_backup_file.sql <- your .sql file will be called something else.



Act IV - Wacked-Out On PHP
From here it was the normal OS X web server set-up, including /etc/apache2/httpd.conf, /etc/hosts, and copying /etc/php.ini.default to /etc/php.ini like this:
myMac > sudo cp /etc/php.ini.default /etc/php.ini
myMac > sudo bbedit /etc/php.ini
I opened /etc/php.ini in BBEdit then scrolled down to line 761 where it says "mysql.default_socket =" and added "/tmp/mysql.sock" This is what makes PHP know how to find the MySQL server.

This did it. Now I have case-sensitive databases and a case-insensitive boot drive for CS4 to clog up. But this process is so long, and so many things can go wrong, that the best I can hope for is to provide a rough guide to be used in combination with the guides I used to figure out all this horseshit.


Comments, addendums, fixes, all are welcome. This problem is not going to go away for me, so any extra info I can collect will help me the next time I have to do this.

UPDATE 1:
Adobe CS4 installs perfectly. Everything runs great.

UPDATE 2:
I migrated the external drive to my regular drive in my laptop, which generated a lot of permissions trouble and I couldn't get MySQL to run at all. I ran the permissions clean-up from the command line:
myMac > sudo /usr/sbin/periodic daily weekly monthly
the I Restarted. This helped a little. I could get MySQL to run, but only with difficulty and MySQL wouldn't launch automatically. After fighting with the permissions for a while, this worked:
myMac > sudo chown -R mysql /Volumes/CaSe/MySQL_data/myDatabase
myMac > sudo chgrp -R wheel /Volumes/CaSe/MySQL_data/myDatabase
myMac > sudo chown -R mysql /Volumes/CaSe/MySQL_data/mysql
myMac > sudo chgrp -R wheel /Volumes/CaSe/MySQL_data/mysql

sudo = "do this as the root user" (you'll need to put in your root password)
chown = "change user (or owner) that can access this"
chgrp = "change group that can access this"
-R = "do this for this folder, and everything in this folder"
the first mysql = "user name is mysql" (this is the mysql server's user name)
the second mysql = "the MySQL database called mysql that is part of the install and stores all the MySQL access info"
myDatabase = "other databases I need to access"

Good luck, and again, any war stories related to this are welcome. It seems like every time I do this it comes out a little different.

Apr 15, 2009

Two Worlds: full review

Okayest Game Of The Year. Worth: $15
based on 360 retail


$60? No way. $15? Sure thing.
You know how the original Star Wars movie transcended its genre? Meaning, that even people who don't sci-fi liked Star Wars. Two Worlds is so poorly designed and developed that the only thing it transcends is my ability to believe that a major game with such crappy craftsmanship ever got released.

And yet, its still fun.

Make it your own
I'm 13 hours into my first character and I have to say that despite a bad camera, terrible framerate, ugly artwork, corny dialogue, and hard-to-follow quests I'm having a good time with this game. I play it with the sound completely off and listen to music on my iPod. When I get lost on a confusing quest, I look it up on a walkthrough. This is not a game I'm going to devote months to (unlike Oblivion, Morrowind, and Fallout 3). I'll play through the story, check out the different magics, upgrade my weapons, level up my character, and then get the hell out. This game is also benefitting from the fact that there aren't any other games out there for me right now.

You had me at hello
There are lots of cool things in this game that I hope other developers pick up for future releases. You can pay an in-game character to help you rearrange your skill points. You can carry three portable teleporters. I dropped one teleporter next to my favorite merchant. When I get full of loot, I drop a second teleporter, then zap to my merchant. I unload my loot, zap back to the second teleporter, pick that teleporter up, and continue adventuring. You can fight and cast spells from horseback. Your horse can carry a huge amount of loot for you. You can add damage crystals to weapons, and then keep on adding them to that same weapon (1,000+ fire DMG anyone?). There are tons of things to spend money on, so you don't hit that wall where you've got a lot of dough but nothing to spend it on. Because you can upgrade your weapons and armor with same-name items, there's always something to look for at the merchants. Even if you're wearing great gear, it can always get better. Even the Alchemy is well-conceived, once you get the hang of it. My favorite things to make so far are potions that permanently(!) upgrade my character. I've never seen that before.

But you lost me after that
My impression is that everything about this game that was done on a whiteboard was envisioned by a team of creative and talented professionals. Those planning meetings were so good that this game survives the shamelessly shoddy hack job it received after the initial planning was done.

If you really like Role-Playing games (like me), Two Worlds is worth playing. Everyone else should just wait for the next release from Bethesda.

Mar 24, 2009

Stranglehold Boss Fight

Now with colorful toxins! Worth: $10
based on 360 retail

StrangleholdHere's Gypsy 6 running to catch a taxi.
First time I've ever seen this: a breakable level.

I'm fighting a boss named Vlad. He runs up some stairs, I follow. I take out his henchmen and shoot the boss a little. Vlad runs away, down a different flight of stairs. I follow, shooting more henchmen. Vlad dashes across an open area. I'm about to follow when he turns on a massive grid of laser beams, tied into land-mine booby traps. One touch on the beams and I'm dead. So rather than try to fight while I sneak through the beams, I go back upstairs and engage Vlad (and more henchmen) from above. This makes him run away out of my sight, triggering another set of laser beams. I go back downstairs and sneak through the first set of beams, but get to a dead end. There's a barrier of beams between me and the next room where Vlad is. I look, and look. I go upstairs to reconnoiter. I sneak over here, nope. Sneak over there, nope not here either. I try shooting stuff (this game has a lot of environmental destruction). Lots of sparks and busted furniture now, but still no way forward. Maybe if I sneak up close to the beams and DIVE THROUGH ---

BOOM!

I'm fighting a boss named Vlad. He runs up some stairs, I follow...

I repeat the above cycle so many times that the game asks me if I'd like to try it on Easy difficulty level (I was on Normal). By this point I'm so pissed off I said, "Sure, I have no shame anymore, I'm clearly incapable of playing this fucking game!" Repeat, repeat, repeat. Look it up on Google. Sit through FIVE video walkthroughs. Repeat repeat repeat. WTF !?!!! Finally I'm so pissed I decide I might as well have some fun and just sprint after the boss, not stopping for anything.

90 seconds later I'm done.

If you make the boss advance, he activates the next stage of laser beams, which include some beams BEHIND YOU to keep you from backtracking. But I was getting him to advance without being anywhere near him, so the pattern would lock me out by activating those anti-backtracking beams IN FRONT OF ME, effectively breaking the level. The pattern doesn't try to detect where the player is, only the boss. The assumption is that if the boss is at point D, the player must be at point C. Meanwhile, I'm still all the hell way back at point A. This is clearly a huge oversight from lack of testing. There's no way I'm the only person to ever do this, and I did it fifteen times in a row!

Stranglehold is ok, but it's not good. I'm glad I waited so long to get it. While the frenzied bullet-fests are fun, that's literally all this game is. So far, the whole experience is like the Library level in Halo 1 with an occasional dose of the (shudder) mine level in Psi-Ops. Plus, the boss fights are weird. There's always some unnatural thing you have to do (like charge after the boss so he doesn't break the level). If it weren't Chow-Yun Fat and John Woo, I wouldn't have bothered to get past the second chapter. But, I love the movie Hard Boiled, and this game recreates the action scenes really well. Sadly, that's all I see coming from this one-dimensional serving of chocolate-frosted sugar bombs.

Feb 9, 2009

Halo Wars

This is the way the franchise ends. Worth: $4
based on 360 demo and videos

Halo WarsMom, can I keep these guys?
I'm a Mac guy, so I knew about Halo way before it came out on Xbox and then PC. I first heard about it as an idea for a Mac-only RTS. Later it was going to be a Mac-only FPS, but at the time I promptly forgot about Halo the RTS because RTS games are tedious, stressful, and more often than not you spend hours on something that doesn't work out. In other words, you can lose.

To hell with losing. Getting my butt kicked, sure. Getting my ass handed to me, fine. But losing? That's too much like real life. I like FPSs, Racers, and RPGs because ultimately you're going to win. The only strategy game I've liked since Myth:The Fallen Lords was Civilization Revolution, which is an RTS like Will Farrell is Phil Hartman. CivRev is strategy-Lite, which is fine because it's so much less challenging than the typical hardcore strategy game. When I played CivRev I felt confident that my three hours of gaming would end in world dominance and not in frustration.

Halo Wars may not be totally hardcore, but it's still got the tedium of building a base and moving your little guys to the battles. The problem is, I'm not having any of the fun. All my little guys are. The game itself works great, the controls are easy to learn and use, the maps are easy to navigate around on, and c'mon, it's Halo! It's got to be good, it's Halo! Halo!!!

But it's not Halo. This game is why the minds at Bungie circa 1998 switched Halo from an RTS to an FPS. It's boring. They should have made another Halo 3 expansion like H3 Recon (aka ODST <- terrible name!). Why not H3 from the Arbiter's POV? With so much rich material it's a shame that this much talent went into something so forgettable from an otherwise stellar franchise.

Fallout 3

Future's so dark, I gotta wear a Haz-Mat suit. Worth: $60
based on 360 retail

Fallout 3No really, it's good radiation.
This sprawling, radioactive sandbox RPG is the most dualistic game I've ever played. It's huge, but you know it's just a small portion of the actual world affected by the story. There's a palpable sense of scarcity, yet you can always find more ammo. It's gorgeously rendered, but bleakly monotonous.

It's also super-gory. Heads, arms, legs, (and sometimes all of these) come flying off at least half of your victims. It's so detailed that you can actually see your enemies' eyeballs burst out of their sockets and land on the ground, where they remain for your gruesome inspection.

The world is spectacularly well realized, but this accuracy to post-apocalyptia is also a turn-off to the GamerGal. As she puts it, "You go from one desolate shithole, turn a corner, and surprise! Another desolate shithole!" While the monchromatic and uniformly forlorn game-world is pretty depressing, it's also fascinating, and jammed with things to see, do, and of course, blast into limbless gore-splattered torsos.

I loved Bethesda's earlier RPGs (Morrowind and Oblivion) and I love Fallout 3 also. If you like the idea of a big RPG / FPS / 3rdPS / sandbox mix (and I'll bet you do) than you may also enjoy devoting an entire month of late nights to playing this game. This may be the best game of 2008, which has been an excellent year. I give it my highest recommendation.

PROS: Big, fun world. Well-written characters and stories. Excellent weapons and armor. Good mini-games for locks/hacking.
CONS: Very short main quest. Leveling up stops very early at 20. Main quest has unsatisfying finale.

(Reading my CONS make me realize that I'm looking for more of a good thing.)

Jan 19, 2009

Fallout 3 custom weapon parts


Bottlecap Mine*
- Lunchbox
- Cherry Bomb
- Sensor Module
- 10 Bottlecaps

Dart Gun**
- Paint Gun
- Toy Car
- Surgical Tubing
- Radscorpion Poison Gland

Deathclaw Gauntlet
- Wonder Glue
- Leather Belt
- Medical Brace
- Deathclaw Hand

Nuka Grenade
- Nuka-Cola Quantum
- Tin can
- Turpentine
- Abraxo Cleaner

Railway Rifle
- Fission Battery
- Pressure Cooker
- Steam Gauge Assembly
- Crutch

Rock-It Launcher
- Vacuum Cleaner
- Leaf Blower
- Firehose Nozzle
- Conductor

Shishkebab*
- Motorcycle Gas Tank
- Motorcycle Handbrake
- Lawnmower Blade
- Pilot Light



* Indicates high lethality. All the custom weapons are fun to have, but these kill things quickly and reliably.

** Special note: use the Dart Gun as your first shot and your enemy will be significantly slowed (both their legs get crippled). Leaves you much more time to gun them down, even without VATS. Weaker enemies like Raiders will be severely affected by the poison and may just drop dead after a few seconds. I've found this gun to be amazingly accurate and it's become the gun I keep in my hand as I explore wide-open areas in the Wasteland.